and so goes the planning

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

the wedding is a mere 7ish months away.  a lot has been done since i last checked in with this blog.  i found a dress (one third of my budgeted amount at a consignment shop.  you have no idea how ridiculously proud i am of that!).  we found a photographer.  we have a dj.  i’ve been given a few million opinions from all varied sources.  i’ve read all the blogs.  oh!  and pinterest.  yeah, the wedding is slowly coming together.

and it’s all been fun.  tasting the food at our venue was amazing.  looking at different fonts for invitations is ridiculous and fun.  thinking about what photo booth props we want to make is completely enthralling.  i mean, i’m planning a huge party with the guy i love.  what’s not to enjoy and love?

but i still haven’t found a way to address the mom comments.  the “so do you want to talk about this with your mom?” or “is your mom here?” you know what i mean.

because the assumption is that if i’m a bride, my mom must not be far behind.

i know there is no malice behind this.  but it’s a very  uncomfortable assumption.  i really think people working in the wedding industry should be better attuned to this.  you know, it sucks planning a wedding without your mom.  it sucks even more when you walk into a bridal shop and they assume your mom is not far behind.

but this isn’t even the worst of the mom comments.  the worst are the ones that come after it is revealed that my mom passed away.  the “oh my god, i can’t even imagine what you are going through, my mom was such a huge help at my wedding, it must be so hard and sad for you. i am so so sorry.”

my problem with this comment is that it doesn’t make me feel better.  i know you are just being kind.  it is really hard, but i don’t know you.  a simple i’m sorry is fine.  i don’t need to hear about how hard it would be for you to have to plan wedding without your mom.

but the worst comment for me is:

“well, i have worked with other clients who have a deceased parent and this is what they have chosen to do and i think it was amazing and was such a great way to remember their mom or dad and wouldn’t it be great for you to do that too.”

see, i have a plan.  and i’m glad you have had clients that have done something to properly honor their parent.  but i just told you my plan.  i don’t want to change it.  i am pretty flexible on a lot of things, but not this.  i have a plan i intend to carry out.  make that plan happen for me.  i will be inflexible.  i know how i want to do this.  don’t try to convince me otherwise.

other than this though, i really don’t understand why wedding planning turns people crazy.  i fully expect to be chaotic next march.  but, this has been ridiculous fun.  so much fun.

moms and days

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by in life

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , ,

it would be safe to say this is one of those weekends where i don’t know how to feel. i’m meeting my brothers in about an hour at the cemetery where we will plant some flowers and visit. then we immediately part ways because i need to take the wee pup to puppy school. he learns to do things with distraction today. we’ll see how that goes. (SQUIRREL)

i’m sad. i miss my mom. i’ll always be sad and i’ll always miss my mom. i suspect if i am lucky enough to be a mom one day, i’ll be even more confused. but, what do i do?

a lot about everything right now confuses me. i’ve been terrified of looking for a dress. i’ve given various excuses – i’ll be the fat chick in a white gown. they are so expensive. the prices are ridiculous. why does the dress matter so much?

but, the real reason dawned on me the other day. it sucks to look at dresses because my favorite confidante on fashion is not here. my mom, my mom had style. maybe not so much in her later days. but when she was younger, she was hot. and she knew how to put together an outfit. part of that is her innate skill in fashion that due to circumstance and life, she was never able to fully put to use. and part of that was growing up in the 50s and 60s. we watch mad men. we know that style was better tailored back then. you had a few nice things and you wore them well.

but i digress.

i need to find “THE DRESS” and i will have some wonderful people to help me along the way. but when it comes down to it, the one person i want there more than anything is missing. nothing i can do about it. i can bring photos to her cemetery plot and ask her what she thinks. but that’s weird. i can use her dress as inspiration. i really just have to go on faith. i know she would have had a blast helping me. and would likely have argued with the seamstress about how to adjust it.

i realize this post is just a jumble of words. some of which might make sense. but, the closer i get to not being able to put off the dress search, the more i want her around. and the more i fear the mess of tears i will be in that fitting room. i hope those around me are prepared. and i really hope i can look a quarter as lovely as this.

happy music friday

20 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by in video

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

,

because some music love lasts a life time. weezer is forever associated in my head as the first band i fell in love with independently. and then got my brother to listen to them.

anyway, look at them on letterman. so young. so adorable. so matt sharp hotness.

there is more to me than wedding

27 Tuesday Mar 2012

Posted by in Rants

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

,

i’m getting married. it’s a ways away. so, we’ve decided to just sit back and take our time with the planning. we did the important stuff – booked a venue, talked to the church, set a date. the rest can wait.

sure, i look at wedding dresses and read about flowers. he looks up photographers. we both brainstorm ideas and share links of fun things. we’ve planned our honeymoon (london and paris). we have even essentially decided the first dace. i even set up a pinterest board (god, i am such a nerd).

but the nitty gritty, it can wait.

what we have both done is make a conscious decision to get healthy. for me this decision is based on fear. (and you know, it is probably not a bad idea to get healthier, live longer, move quicker, yada yada blah blah blah) i am petrified of trying on a wedding dress. i am TERRIFIED of wedding pictures. self esteem is not a good friend of mine. i’m the girl who sewed herself a skirt last year about four sizes too big. so, the idea of finding a dress that will cost a lot of money and will be heavily photographed is terrifying.

in light of all that, my only wedding planning goal for the next few months is to work on that fear. and you know, get rid of it.

but apparently once you get engaged, there is little else you are expected to talk about. the first question is always “so what’s new with the planning?” and when i say, “nothing.” it’s always met with a blank stare.  (at least with my family…) my aunt wanted to know why i had such a struggle with my weight. everyone assures me the perfect dress is out there. and my aunt also warns me (almost constantly) “there is not enough time!” (she’s apparently channeling Jack Bauer)

i’m a planner. historically, planning events is my strong suit. i’ve been a bit disheveled lately, but, trust me, when it matters – i get my shit done and together.

and the wedding is no different.  when two planners come together, expect spreadsheets, file folders, bulletin boards, checklists …

but, we have SO much time.

and yes, i know it will go super fast.  yes.  i’m aware.  i think i’ve been told that about a dozen times. 

but let me wrap my head around the wedding dress idea first.  and then, i’ll pick a favors and gifts to make. then i’ll be asking for your help. and you better show up with your glue gun.

but until then, ask me something else … anything else … first.  have you heard, i decided to go peggy olson at work?  ask me how that’s going before we get to wedding stuff…

worth more than twenty dollars

16 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by in music

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

, ,

i like music. a lot. i like seeing live music. a lot. if i can see a band for 20 dollars and under, i’ll usually try my best to make it happen. this is great for me since i listen to a lot of “less popular” artists. this is also sometimes known as “indie” or “alternative” or “whatever label we feel like attaching this morning.”

but there are a few people i will pay above the $20. a precious few.

  1. bruce springsteen. he is actually in the “i don’t care what the damn price is, i’m fucking going” category.
  2. foo fighters. i have dave grohl love in the worst way.  but i’d probably care a little bit about the price here.
  3. ray davies.  i had the pleasure of catching a show of his a couple years ago.  one of the best i’ve attended in recent years.  also would not care about the price.  i’d go. 
  4. todd snider.  the highest i’ve paid for him has been $30.  would go higher.  worth all of it. 
  5. ani difranco. this would be purely for the associated nostalgia.

and honestly, that’s it.  and really, the only priority here is bruce.  i’ve never seen him live.  i’ve been a ridiculous fan since i was about 10  or younger.  it’s time. 

 

and so it begins

05 Monday Mar 2012

Posted by in music

≈ Leave a Comment

Tags

,

my week long only todd snider listening.

and because i like to share, a little bit for you.

east nashville skyline is one of my favorite albums. but this song, kind of creeps up on you. and until i heard it live, i didn’t really notice how powerful it was.
“this feels like a rally in a high school field house. i feel like the captain of the team. well, there goes the captain of the team.”

the whistling is my favorite part.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 346 other followers